Around Western Europe in 12 Days, Ice Cream Technology, The Triumphant Return of Giuseppe Punzo, and Other Amazing Tales

Hello again. I know I've been lacadaisical lately about the blog, but rest assured I'm still alive and eating. Here's an abbreviated rundown of the past month or so:

-road tripped a good portion of Western Europe... castles, rainbows, tripe, spiders, le mistral, caves, black bread and superlative smoked fish all made appearances at one time or another
-took a very interesting ice cream technology class this week with a very hilarious prof... my favorite flavors (of around 30) included sorbet yaourt, crème glacée à la vanille (I actually liked the eggless version the best), banane flambée, sorbet framboise fraiche, crème glacée au cassis et crème fraîche, sorbet ananas vanillé, crème glacée au caramel fleur de sel, crème glacée wasabi, & crème glacée à l'huile d'olive
-one of our beloved former roommates has returned to Paris to continue his studies, making life much more fun again

Fall continues its approach, but has yet to sink the mercury too low or fade the green from the trees. We're starting to discover new places and things to do, which I suppose should not be too surprising, given this is Paris after all. I'm more and more in love with our neighborhood, which is diverse and, although maybe not as lovely as some others, packed with busy little bars, brasseries, markets etc. In addition, we're a brief stroll away from the wonderful Parc Buttes Chaumont, Gambetta, Oberkampf, and the reknowned À la Flûte Gana, a bakery at which the two head bakers are women (something practically unheard of here!). Despite the fact that I have some months left here, I feel time slipping away... more than six months have passed since I left Minneapolis. I'm filled with a desire to absorb as much of this insane city and culture as I can. It can be remarkably difficult, for me at least, to balance the neccessary -and don't get me wrong, certainly also desirable- normality of everyday life with the richness and enormity and goddamn complexity that is this city. Sometimes I almost feel like it's a sin to not go out, that by eating spaghetti at home on the couch with a book is a punishable offense when Paris -by god, PARIS!- is surrounding me with nearly infinite possibilities. To not answer its call can make me feel like a sad fool. But in the end, it's simply not possible to do it all. I'll never see all there is to see, eat everywhere, meet everyone. So, spaghetti on the couch is inevitable. But I'm doing my best in spite of it.

Classes are very good, I've finally altered my schedule to a pretty ideal state. I cancelled on chocolate bonbons and small breads for restauration, replacing them with Entremets de Tradition and a Viennoiserie course. I will hopefully be filling the couple gaps I have with some good stages, but I have yet to arrange them.

P.S. 200 new photos up on Flickr from classes, the road trip and more.

Back to reality

Minnesota represent!!

The city has refired its engine after a month of mass exodus and repose. Our neighborhood is much more vibrant now that shops have reopened their doors, and everywhere there seems to be a desire to be out and about, soaking up the last traces of summer before the inevitable grip of fall and then winter settles in for good. Already I can some mornings see faint traces of breath on the air while waiting for the bus just before sunrise. But upon leaving school, it will be sunny and humid, too warm for the sweater and scarf from that morning.
Like the rest of Paris, I'm back to work. It wasn't as awful as I had anticipated having to wake up early for the first time in over two months. My commute is indeed long and bothersome compared to the extreme ease of where we last lived, but I've using it as an opportunity to read more (and am devising an intricate schedule of cellphone alarms to allow for potential napping). It also allows for meeting people: on Tuesday a business-looking man started chatting with me and we stumbled upon the subject of my recent apartment woes. "Well, if there's anything I could do to help, I'd be happy to lend a hand," he'd offered. I'd replied that that was very kind, but unless he was a lawyer there wouldn't be much he could do... but in fact he is!! He said he would be more than happy to get together and have a look at my contract, which he confirms to indeed contain the illegalities I had suspected. There may yet remain a sliver of hope! But regardless, more than anything it is heartening to meet a stranger who would sympathize, let alone offer assistance. And a Frenchman, no less!
Class is good, although it certainly is a different beast altogether than the first 3 months. This past week we were a modest group of 6: two Korean women (of which one is in my program), three French men, and me. I didn't like my partner terribly much, and luckily the only times we all paired off was to scale ingredients. I immediately tagged him in my mind as a frimeur-- showoff. Cocky, quite young, a wise-ass, and some type of manager at a Lenotre production facility in Dubai, India, he made no real friends of us three girls (nor the other French men, perhaps?) by sometimes mocking our baking gestures or treating us like fools. It's very interesting to be a categorical member of not only the Inept Girls Who Would be Bakers club but also the Clueless Foreigner club. Being frequently patronized, whether intentionally or not and to varying degrees, by teachers and classmates is going to get old, very old. And there's nothing you can do about it. It makes me ponder just how some immigrants manage to tolerate such treatment, in more severe manifestations and for sometimes their entire life. I'm not used to encountering prejudice, albeit not crippling in this case, against me on such a regular basis. It's a curious position. But I can't say it's a great shock, I suppose... I'm some scruffy, bawdy American girl studying a Good Ol' Boys' Club profession in a renowned capital of Good Ol' Boys' culture.


P.S. Many new photos on Flickr, some from this past week in class and also a bunch of old photos from June/July.

La rentrée

I came, I ate, I ate some more, I went back to Paris. And I got really tan. And naturally I saw lots of amazing things along the way. But it feels good to be back "home."

A Finet-free home no less! We saw loony-toons yesterday for what I hope to god will be the last time ever. It seems that fate arranged one last ridiculous confrontation, just for old-time's sake. Upon leaving the building we happened to run into one of the downstairs neighbors, started talking about the situation, I was about to give her my contract and rent receipts for their court case, and who should pop down but the celebrity herself! True to form, she was listening at the window four flights up, and came down, zany guns a-blazing. Lots of rapid French back-and-forth ensued between her and the neighbor, during which I went into a semi-catatonic state from the futility of it all. And right now she's calling me claiming she'll give me back the money for September... later this week, or something, oh, but first I need to come and take the latch off my door because her and her brother can't get it off-- gosh, it seems somebody put epoxy in the screws. Whoops! And I'm telling her no way, not until there's money in my hand, to which she says no, and I'm hanging up. And she's calling back, saying oh, actually my brother wants the apartment for half the month, so we'll reimburse you for that, but you still need to take off the lock, and I'm saying I didn't put the glue in, which she takes to mean I didn't put the lock on, which I'm fine with her believing as well. And she seems genuinely baffled by that, and appears to believe me, which genuinely baffles me. And then I'm telling her that I'll be gone during the middle of September, which is true, and then she says some convoluted thing how she'll call her brother (you know, the one that was supposedly there in the apartment during the last call!) and see if blah blah blah. And thus a fitting interaction to mark the end of the relationship.

But back to the trip! Our first lesson: avoid Florence and Siena in August at all costs. Second lesson: be prepared to sell organs on the black market for the money to rent the car last-minute in Florence in August that will enable you to drive through the backhills of Tuscany. Third lesson: it is very worthwhile to drive through the backhills of Tuscany.
Some other Proven Facts from the past weeks: Trattoria Latte di Luna in Pienza makes the best roast suckling pig in the universe (and they have a talking bird that greets you with "ciao! buona sera! come va!"), grilled eel at Lago Castiglione is very delicious but is almost sickeningly rich, there is some very very bad pizza to be found in Sorrento, Barcelona is a lot cooler than Paris, Spanish wine tastes good, lots of people at hostels are annoying, and Pompeii is surprisingly huge.

All my vacation photos are posted on Flickr, check them out.

I went back to school today after nine weeks of lazing about, which is good. I am already feeling the hurt of my much longer commute, but such is the price I knew I would pay. This week I'm taking Pains de Tradition, which is cool although I'm skeptical of many of the teacher's explanations.
It feels good to be productive again.

BCN-O-RAMA

Well, freshly fattened on Barcelona´s considerable bounty, we are about to take the overnight train back to Paris. Many reports to come on our eating exploits from the past few weeks...

Just want to say...

Italy rules!

Movin' on up!!

I hope you Minneapolitans are taking advantage of the Midtown Global Market. It sounds goddamn awesome.

FINALEMENT!!!

ON A ÉCHAPPÉ!!! We are officially free from you-know-who's zany clutches! It remains to be seen whether I will recuperate any of my cash. Let's just say there is a possibility but I'm not exactly optimistic. At least a lesson has been learned here... DON'T GIVE A PSYCHO A TON OF MONEY UP-FRONT, OR PREFERABLY NOT AT ALL!

But tonight we made a highly, um, idiosyncratic curry concoction (ready-made vindaloo paste, jarret de boeuf [shank-- pretty much only used here for pot au feu], button mushrooms, red pepper and zucchini) on top of Thai sticky rice with sliced cucumber on the side and crème fraîche on top (and with a Portugese wine!), in the very considerable comfort of our new apartment--- faaar from the 16eme. Indeed, we have relocated to the 19eme, which could hardly be further from where we were living before. This neighborhood is much more our style-- multicultural, lots of restaurants, a family feel... it seemed to me that the only non-white folks in the 16eme are either nannies or working at the grocery checkout. And I cannot say enough about how good it feels to wake up (in a real bed, no less-- not a dumpy mattress on the floor) in peace, without a radio blaring through the wall, sopping wet floors, a kitchen sink full of potato skins (or egg shells, or noodles, or chicken bones...), or any number of other unpleasant surprises.

Our vacation is about ready to launch, final preparations are underway. One week of adventure en route to Rome from Milan, then several days there, then "?" for two days (Naples, we hope? Beppe, where are you?), then Barcelona, then back home. And then it's back to school for me! Five weeks off have blown by at tremendous speed. How the heck did that happen, you might ask? Well, one class I wanted was full, another I decided to move closer to the final exam so it would be fresher in my memory, and then my much-looked-forward-to Maîtrise de Conserves (read: High-Fallutin' Pickles) class was cancelled seeing as how I'm apparently the only one out there who wants to spend a week making high fallutin' pickles. Er, I mean, master conserves. And then on a note of double misfortune, the timing has worked out neither for a stage in production at the school nor for a stint at an organic farm. There would be the possibility to push some of my classes back even later so as to make room, but I think they've been pushed quite far enough as it is. My stay here is extending itself a good deal longer than originally anticipated already. My pipe dream of the week is to somehow hustle a stage at Michel Bras' in Laguiole, but I find it pretty much inconceivable, especially given that there's only one week where I'm off classes before they close for the season. But I've slopped together a new resumé nonetheless, and if I can muster up the motivation in the next day and a half I'll send it off into the ether just for the hell of it.

Finetisms, the short list

An abbreviated account of antics perpetrated by this blog's favorite zany antagonist... Helene Finet!!!

>CUE BENNY HILL THEME, HIGH VOLUME<

*dumping water all over the floors and leaving it there... everyday! "It's cleaning!"
*stealing money out of our rooms and bags! Twenty euros from us yesterday, and assorted 1 and 2 euro coins from Cole!
*stealing toilet paper CONSTANTLY, be it from the bathroom, or our hiding places in our rooms (suitcases, empty flowerpots...)!!
*stealing and/or throwing away food! A nectarine from our room yesterday... vanished, without a trace!
*stealing from the neighbors! We saw her take their ladder and then hide it in a weird service shaft!
*telling her 'boyfriend' that she's on Crete and flying to Lebanon by helicopter, therefore he can't return her call!
*cruising AA meetings for dates!
*talking about how she's supposed to find an American to marry her so she can live in the States... just like her daughter! It's their 'plan!'
*bringing home what she claims is a crocodile egg so it can hatch and be a pet!
*showing prospective renters a book which she claims to have authored... as a ghost writer! Ya know, for anonymity!
*loading the dishwasher like, well, a maniac so that nothing gets cleaned!
*dumping food in the sink so it clogs... again and again and again!
*leaving the apartment late at night for a 'conference' and returning 10 minutes later!

>CONTINUE BENNY HILL THEME DURING WACKY FINET SLAPSTICK MONTAGE<

GIVE ME BBQ OR GIVE ME DEATH

Oh barbeque, how thy absence makes my heart grow fonder! And by the way, these aren't BBQ but I hope you bastards in Minnesota will eat here for me: Sea Salt Eatery and Pop's Family Cafe. If I still had a spleen to speak of I would probably tear it out for some good old American food like this right now.

Those of you up to date are well aware of my failure to procure daily food-related entries this week. Yeah, well. I do have much better news, however: I've hustled up a new apartment and even a future roommate for us! The place is super nice with a decent kitchen (by Parisian standards), a pleasant neighborhood, and even hundreds and hundreds of books of English and French literature. Unfortunately it is drastically inconvenient for my commute and I will be losing a barrel-load of money from doubling up on rent between it and Planet Finet for 2 months... you can't win 'em all I guess. The roommate will be an as-yet-unseen Canadian girl who sounds very nice and shares many interests with us.

But returning to barbeque (really, don't all roads lead back to barbeque?)... in the spirit of my previous Breakfast Joint Menu, I now submit my Barbeque Shack Menu-- indeed these are the first in a potential series of menus. The following has been rattling around in my head for many months, as are very well aware ye fellow Aurigans......

THE GOODS (aka PLEASURES OF THE FLESH)
All smoked insanely long, of course.
Spare ribs... just salt and pepper or dry-rub
Beef ribs... just salt and pepper
Chicken... dry-rub or extra spicy
Brisket... Flicker style.
Pulled pork sandwich... choose the sauce

Non-smoked Goods...
Spicy fried catfish with real tartar sauce
The Line Cook Basket: fried chicken livers with fries-- Crystal hot sauce a must!
Cornmeal-fried oyster po'boy
Buffalo wings-- done really well. And killer blue cheese sauce.
Good corndogs. I'm serious.

Sauces
you know, pretty much the standards... thick and sweet; extra spicy; Texas-style vinegar; chipotle-raspberry aioli (ha- JUST KIDDING)

Sides
Skin-on mashed potatoes with chicken gravy
Loaded potato salad... extra pickles, eggs, celery
Spicy jojo potatoes
Skin-on fries
Baked beans with Nueske's bacon
Cider braised collard greens
Coleslaw
Cornbread (northern style)
Best ever buttermilk biscuits
Blackened succotash
Hushpuppies
Very soft white buns

Dessert
Sweet Potato Pie with candied ginger
Pecan tart- like the pie but less devastating
Coconut cream pie
Deep dish apple pie
Very dark chocolate brownie
Seasonal fruit cobbler or crisp

My breakfast joint

If I had a breakfast joint, the menu would surely have things like this...

*Egg-in-the-hole-in-the-bread. House white bread, brioche or pain au levain.
*Buckwheat pancakes with real maple syrup. Potential variations: banana-cocoa nib, wild blueberry, white nectarine-pinenut, candied pecan..........?
*Garlicky sauteed kale. With poached eggs, shaved parmesan, truffle oil and lots of cracked pepper
*Chorizo scramble. With queso fresco, lime, homemade flour tortillas and pico de gallo
*Overnight yeasted waffles with real maple syrup or Nutella sauce or house vanilla bean ice cream or combinations?..........
*House granola with tupelo honey, hemp seeds, dried sour cherries and toasted almonds. With organic milk, or house yogurt.
*Smoked fish platter in tribute to Prune in NY. Many delicious garnishes.
*Super fluffy omelette like at Mickey's in St Paul. Possible combos: extremely sharp cheddar and Neuske's bacon; lox, a bit of cream cheese, red onions; house spicy sausage and the house home fries; roasted asparagus and cambozola.....
*House cuban-style black beans with fried eggs, green onions, creme fraiche, house flour tortillas and sriracha (DUDE THIS IS SO GOOD)
*Soft scrambled eggs with toast and hashbrowns
*'Benedict' with roasted asparagus, jambon de pays and the best bearnaise ever, on top of toasted pain au levain. With hashbrowns.
*Corned beef hash with eggs on top. House corned beef. And lots of onions in the hash!
*Waffle iron brioche french toast, dammit!

Sides would include stuff like....

*Home fries with sweet onion, garlic, rosemary and thyme
*Not-too-sweet yeasted cinnamon coffeecake
*Hashbrowns fried in butter
*House spicy sausage
*Nueske's bacon
*Grapefruit salad with mint syrup. Or pineapple? Both?

Un guêpier?

Well, I have decided to enable comments once again. I'm curious about what feedback might be floating around out there, and also about who cares to keep up to date on our exploits.

So, what's on yer minds out there in the ether??

Note: Lelchuks and Parsons, please take it easy ;-)

Gazpacho

I have had a tremendous craving for gazpacho lately, which I suppose is derived from the extremely hot weather of the past few weeks and the subsequent disinterest in all hot foods. But then again on of the hottest days we had Korean barbeque (which entailed sitting next to a sweltering butane grill and searing my own bulgogi), and the other day we had great big bowls of steaming hot pho, so maybe that makes me a big liar. However, that's because I also have a really crappy cold with a lung-rattling cough, so I've been trying to punish the virus into submission with additional heat. I think it's working..?
But back to gazpacho. Man, that stuff is good. I finally realized my goal yesterday... peel, seed and chop tomatoes; microplane garlic; dice red pepper and cucumber; mince a bit of onion; mix it all up with some salt, a bit of sugar, red wine vinegar and a bit of balsamic to vaguely compensate for the very regrettable fact I have no nice sherry vinegar-- well, any sherry vinegar, period. I didn't add bread because I personally don't really roll like that, not for gazpacho. And we're out of olive oil, but it would be so much better with it, so I think I'll have to to get some. And there you have it. It's awful good, but I could definitely also go for some Gazpacho Fitzgerald (I know, only a couple of you get that reference).
We also tried to go to a new (to us) market, but upon arrival at 1:00 sharp it was almost entirely broken down, which is quite unusual, especially as it was a fairly decent-sized one. Managed to quick snatch up some gazpacho fixins and haggle 3 melons for 5 euros-- heh heh heh. It's too bad it was done with, especially as I had heard one woman sells the normally quite rare fresh (which is to say unaged) camembert, which is twice the height of the normal stuff and eaten like many other fresh cheeses: either sweetened with sugar or honey, or savory with chopped herbs and cracked pepper.

In other news, we saw Life Aquatic last night at La Villette, which I liked much, much more than the first time I saw it. Unfortunately they started the movie too late, or maybe the problem was that they showed a short film first, so afterwards we missed the last metro-- along with probably several hundred -or more- other people. We took a meandering trek through the upper 19eme to Belleville, where we finally caught the Noctilien. All in all, it took us about two hours to get back.

Tonight we have an appointment to go check out this pretty cool-sounding place to live by Montparnasse. We're keeping our fingers crossed!

Joyeux anniversaire, moi!

Well, I am one day older and have completed my 23rd trip around the sun! Above is photo I totally stole from some other guy's blog. This is what you find when image googling "birthday cake eiffel tower." It was a very low-key day. Slept in quite late, hung around, walked near Trocadero and hung around and read, ate pho with a couple of my classmates in the 13eme, and saw a Mongolian film at La Villette as part of the Cinema en Plein Air festival.

I have lately realized that my narrative has veered off course from that of a cook in Paris to one of "ahhh, I'm freaking out about the psycho landlady, oh nooooooooo, my brain is seeping with self-pityyyyyyy," and frankly, the latter doesn't conjoin neatly with the word blog (this is my Clog, right? Wow, I must be like the wittiest damn person on the planet!). No, but really, where did all the love go? And by love I can only mean food. I'm sorry I've given you almost no "dinners lately" or reports on new outdoor markets, or shoddy glare-obscured shots from patisserie displays. Am I growing jaded to Paris? I don't think so, but I guess I am slowing down. I'm acclimated to being here, which is a polite way of saying I'm lazy. So I hereby set forth a goal for myself this week: I will post something about food every day, and take a photo for each day which I'll post later because it's easier that way.

We'll see if I can bring back the love a little bit...

Ces choses me manquent

Today I present a miscellaneous array of things I miss from home. Not included are the obvious things, such as friends and family.

*Golooney's subs on Sunday morning
*The Weinery, especially the fries & Mr Sunshine dog
*Vietnamese food on Nicollet! How can the Vietnamese food here be inferior given the history of colonisation?! Dude, for real.
*Lake Harriet
*Chinese food! It SUCKS here!
*Minneapolis summer, even as hot and buggy as it is
*Cinema Revolution
*bluegrass at Dulono's
*my bike!!
*BBQ, both the availability thereof and the activity
*breaking down the kitchen to Styxx's Greatest Hits
*Loring Park
*a big freezer
*my books
*concerts
*bulk food (especially spices) at the co-ops
*big ol' American breakfast!! Bacon! Eggs! Freakin' hashbrowns, dammit!
*a bed that's actually comfortable
*trashy, sloppy American pizza
*BURGERS! Yes, Ryan and I miss burgers to a very great extent, despite the fact we eat them quite rarely at home. Go figure.
*messing around in my kitchen making random stuff (tamales, bagels, curry, sticky rice, who-knows-what)

Ryan misses pancakes probably most of all. Luckily we can remedy that in France without too much effort.

As for things I anticipate missing about Paris...

*the outdoor markets!!!!!!!! I will be truly, truly sad to leave behind the markets of Paris. The traiteurs, bouchers, charcutiers, fromagers, maraichers......
*the cheese. To be honest, we haven't explored as wide a range as you might think, but cheese is so pervasive and cheap that we eat it all the time. We actually buy the ghetto cheap cheese most of the time, which is pretty funny (perhaps shameful?) given all the better options.
*the monuments and aesthetic that remind you "hey, this is Paris! I LIVE here!"
*THE BREAD! It will be sad to leave the bread-valuing atmosphere of France (well, Europe, really).
*speaking French. I really hope I can maintain (and maybe, maybe even improve) my current level of fluency after I leave.
*the generally more food-valuing attitude. Everybody loves to eat here.

SUCCHIA LA FRANCIA!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! TAKE THAT, FRANCE!!!


So, I had before now neglected to note my (temporary) love for soccer. But I am now coming out of the closet, as a blissfully happy supporter of Italy-- who has convieniently won the World Cup, just moments ago. We're heading to the Champs Elysees right now to celebrate, hopefully we make it back alive.......

EDIT: So, last night I was pretty enthusiastic, huh? Well, I'm still glad Italy won, but I retract my earlier statements professing love, or coming out of closets, or blissfully happy or any of that. We walked to Trocadero, where not much was going on. Ryan and I bailed on Champs Elysees and went back home instead. It was just a bunch of sad, drunk Frenchies and riot cops anyways.

What did we ever do to deserve this???

The situation here just sucks.

We saw a lawyer at the mairie Friday who confirmed our suspicions that A) we signed an illegal contract (it is valid for only 3 months, but Finet had wrote in 5) and B) it would be both stressful and potentially fruitless to try and take actions to recuperate our money.
Finet's daughter is staying here for the time being, who initially appeared to be benign enough but then showed herself to be a horrific beast-monster of biblical proportions. From what (rather heated) conversations I've overheard between her and her mom, we've reached the conclusion that Evil Daughter is just utterly money-hungry and selfish-- it seems clear that she needs the cash from renting this apartment to pay for her stupid wedding. This beastly nature was revealed to me at an impressive and unnerving level after I was flat-out caught warning a prospective future renter to GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE, FAST. It turns out that I actually shot myself in the foot in more ways than one with that stunt: the girl was representing a language school that (purportedly) would have rented out ALL the rooms, thereby enabling us to get reimbursed and thusly freed. As much as that sucks that I ruined our way out, I do feel that I did the morally right thing in warning her... and I screwed Finet and Little Beast over bigtime in terms of money! That's rewarding to me.
But now, through my gratuitous eavesdropping I have discovered that big and little Finet are both plotting against me. I do not mean this in a joking or paranoid sense. Phone calls have been made, to whom I have no idea, I believe a visit to a lawyer has been made but I'm not positive, some person is supposed to come on Monday (but to what end, again I don't know). I AM FREAKED OUT AND STRESSED AS HELL. They have NOTHING on me or anyone else living here for that matter, but I am still totally panicked, as I think most people would be.

We are getting the HELL out of here as soon as possible... we've rented an apartment in the 11th for the week that Andrew and Carolyn will be here, during which we'll leave our stuff here, I guess. After that there is a brief limbo period before we leave to travel that remains to be dealt with, during part of which I would like to do a stage in the bread bakery at Lenotre. However this necessitates staying in the motel next door to the school as the bakery shifts start at 3AM. I feel like everything is really, really complicated at the moment. And, while all of this is happening, I am now trying to find some poor soul to taking over the last 2 months of our contract so I don't have to eat the enormous cost of that embarassingly and foolishly prepaid rent. Does this make me a hell-bound hypocrite?? Maybe so. In fact I might well not have the heart to go through with it. I can't help but feel -and HATE- that Finet is winning by succeeding in chasing us from what is supposed to be our home (and quite possibly getting a load of my money in the same blow). However, although we may be losing this battle, Karl pointed out the very good fact that in helping the neighbors with evidence we might enable them to eventually put an end once and for all to this tyranny. By god I really do hope so.

Felicitations, mes potes!!

MAD SHOUT OUTS, ALL Y'ALL!! (click here...)

And so pass the days of my life

A few recent kodak moments. More up on Flickr.

Escape from planet Finet

Well, there is a pinpoint of light at the end of the tunnel for me and Ryan, although it necessitates certain misery for a new set of renters. The result of our recent rock-the-boat measures has caused enough fear and/or discomfort to Finet that she is now saying she'll make an "exception" just this once for us and let us have our money back IF she can find someone to take our room. Right now we're being quite individualistic in looking out for our own interests, but we do feel bad for the doomed souls that move in after us. Yet my goal is to make it impossible for her to continue renting this apartment in the future, so hopefully the suffering will be put to an end somewhat soon (although within the French system who knows what "soon" means). In regards to that, Karl and Giuseppe went to speak to a semi-lawyer on Friday, who did indeed confirm that it is illegal for her to sleep in the hallway and all that (wow, big surprise there!). This afternoon Karl and I returned to the neighbors' downstairs, where we were met with a very warm reception indeed. We swapped crazy Finet stories (which of course are never in short supply), and talked legal stuff. They were very happy to receive the photos and statement concerning the apartment, in fact, they even gave us a bottle of wine when we were leaving!! The sweet nectar of alliance. So hopefully at the very least we can help them and the rest of the building out in the long run, as what they've really been in need of is certain evidence that only insiders like us could provide (heh heh heh).

In other signifigant news, I passed my "exam" (which in fact was not a tremendously big, or graded, deal) last week, which was a relief to be done with. I thought the thing that was the most stressful about the whole ordeal was that I was working with someone that was always freaking out and pissed at everyone else. Granted, I felt pressure to get things done and to do them well, but even still I didn't feel inclined to have a heart attack over it. But my partner's attitude put quite a damper on the whole class, and me most of all. In the end I was fairly happy with the quality of my products. Some things weren't perfect, but on a whole I think I did a competent job, and was told as much by the teacher in the critique. It's very strange that we're done with the part of the program where we're all together... there probably won't ever be a week that we're all there at the school. I must say it's sort of sad. Some of my favorite classmates are pursuing cuisine, so we will have few or no classes together now. And I found out my conserves (i.e. pickles, etc) class was cancelled, as I was apparently the only one signed up for it. It's really too bad, as I was especially looking forward to it. But I will replace it (hopefully) with a pretty awesome looking petits fours class in December, for which I saw the presentation last week. And in honesty that is of much more professional use to me than pickles.

We leave on another little road trip tomorrow night with Karl and Beppe to Holland and Belgium. It should be a lot of fun. Not really sure where we're staying or even going precisely, but we'll find out soon enough. Unfortunately, Karl had his bag stolen from Champs de Mars on Saturday... and with it his passport, wallet, drivers license, credit cards, iPod, digital camera... everything important, basically. I feel really bad for him, and I feel stupid because I was sitting right next to it when it happened. We pretty sure we got totally worked over by a crew of scammers. One hit on me to keep me busy, another two chatted up Karl, and then one of them excused himself and must have swiped the bag. Makes me feel quite a bit more mindful for the future. Shit happens, I guess.

Saw the Pride march/ festival at Bastille on Saturday also, which was truly quite underwhelming, not so much in size but in creativity. Very conservative, compared to San Francisco, or even to Minneapolis, I felt like. It was with clinical precision that they cleaned up after such an event! I have never seen such a marvel of efficiency. Huge crews of trucks with pressure hoses, dudes with those green brooms, leaf-blowers, sweeping trucks and more descended upon the area like hyenas, leaving nary a trace of the day's events. All before the sun had even set. I then went directly to see the movie Paris, Je T'aime, which I must say I really liked... or dare I say-- loved? No pun intended. No really, it was very good. The Coen brothers' story was funny. Man, Steve Buscemi is getting old.

Been reading more in French lately, including some comics. Expanding my vocabulary more and more. Going to start working on my command of the subjunctive, which is a weird concept to me but necessary to master if I want to speak properly.

And last but not least, eager to know how everything went at the Beard house for Auriga!!! Been thinking about it all weekend. Sent my thoughts westward across the pond.

Pointless shouting match number 2

Well, as I like to keep things lively here (seeing as my exams this week aren't stressful enough), I took it upon myself to have another highly fruitful argument with madame this afternoon. The highlight was HER telling ME that I am "psycho" and/or "nuts," and also that she was a lawyer for 15 years so she knows her rental laws (as Beppe said, "oh yeah right, she was actually a lawyer for 2000 years".
In the heat of the moment, I utterly could not resist telling her that I have an appointment with a lawyer this Friday (true, although I am in fact not going, my roommates are) to talk all about our situation here, and that I have been talking with the neighbor downstairs about helping him with the court case against her. As might be imagined by those who have been following recent events, neither of these phased her much (i.e. she almost completely ignored it, and refuted it with riduculously fabricated stories to the contrary), although she did relent a bit later by saying that *maybe* (MAYBE!) Ryan and I could have money back and move out early IF she could find someone else to take our room... which in my opinion is a very thinly veiled attempt to wash her hands of us so as to avoid legal problems.
I cannot even stress enough how much bullshit ("connerie") she is full of. Edith, the Taiwanese girl, came back today to get something, and madame tried to force her to hand over her key to the padlock she had installed on the door... I was so proud of Edith!! I pulled her away and said she absolutely must NOT give madame the key, so she slipped it to me instead. And then upon Finet's insistence that she give her the key, she refused without even blinking. It was great, in a shitty, miserable, futile kind of way. She then proceeded to tell Finet that she is exploiting us foreigners, to which Finet disagreed with/ didn't give a shit.
After the stress of the whole confrontation (which I don't -and won't- even begin to detail further here), I drank a moderate amount of wine to take the edge off. This resulted in a comensurate amount of kissing ass and flat out lying when she explained maybe she could make an exception just this once and give us our money back if she finds someone else. I bit my tongue so hard it's a wonder I didn't sever it. I played friendly to everything, even though it was all sickeningly ridiculous.

We'll see what the lawyer says. I hope to god it's on our side.

On a brighter note

Recent photos. Added a couple hundred to Flickr today, check them out.

The talking chair that lives in our hall

Well, the merde hit the fan tonight, so to speak.

We finally found a lock that fits on our door, and so needless to say we put it on immediately once madame left the house. Later, it was Ryan who bore the initial brunt of her reaction, which was suitably unreasonable (see previous posts for backround). As soon as I heard from the other room that the can of worms was already open, I joined the scene and, both Ryan and my guns blazing, proceeded to inflict not even one dent in the solidly outlandish worldview that exists in the mind of Madame Finet. We tried to retreat to the Italians' room and slam the door on her which, having no lock (!!!), proved to be utterly ineffective. This instead drew the "conversation" out maddeningly. The other guys did pipe in their support which was nice but, again, to no avail whatsoever.
What was said was of so little importance given the futility of it all, but I will try to briefly recap for education's sake.
1. She UTTERLY believes that we are meant to live here like a family, and that all the rooms are open to everyone, and that she's here to help us and to be our "French teacher" and our protector. To put locks on doors goes against this principle. (?!!?)
2. She wants everyone to be happy, and when it was very blatantly stated that we would be happier without her, she simply denies it and goes on again about #1 (above).
3. We said over and over and over that it's not Ok for her to sleep in the hallway and that it ceases to be her "home" if she rents out all the rooms and has none of her own. She says it would be terrible to deprive a "poor student in need" of a room when she's fine sleeping in the hallway, and besides, it doesn't bother anyone that she does that. Again, when explicitly stated that YES we do mind, she either returns to point #1, or ignores the statement, or returns to the argument that this HER home and we knew all along that it would be like this. Everyone disagreed with that, and she disagreed with us, AND what's more she then pretended that we all agreed!! We also said it's not ok that she sleeps naked in the hall (which she denies, yet we have seen ourselves), takes showers with the door open, puts water all over the floor (she calls this "cleaning"), eats everyone's food, doesn't do dishes.... on and on. She denies these things. We even told her we have VIDEO of her going in peoples rooms repeatedly, which she basically ignored completely.

In summary, she steamrolls over anything you try to say and tries to dismiss it and pretend like there's no problem, there's at most just a slight misunderstanding. And we kept saying NO, we do NOT agree, there IS a problem, YOU are the problem, YOU are wrong etc. And she kept trying to say she wants the house to be like this or like that, and we flat out said WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WANT, WE PAY TO LIVE HERE, which she obviously is incapable of comprehending. And she above all kept stressing that she's super cool, she lets us do whatever we want, we're free here, she wants us all to be happy, she protects us, we're lucky to live here.... and Beppe finally said "you know, you act like it's a gift to us that we live here, but it's not, we PAY rent, we PAY you" and then she returned to..... you guessed it, point #1!

So, I would say Beppe finally hit the nail on the head when he said it's just like talking to a chair. A crazy, crazy chair.

La Grande Famille

So Ryan got an earful of madame's "philosophy" today, which, as one might guess, was highly enlightening and reasonable. So, in her universe, this is her home, and we are all a big happy family with no boundaries or personal space. It is wrong to keep doors closed (and god forbid we put locks on them like "the Chinese [Taiwanese] girl"), and anyone is free to enter each others' rooms as they wish, because, you know, someone might want "air from the window" of someone else's room. To this Ryan replied that it's both a matter of privacy AND the little fact that we have paid rent and therefore are free to do anything we want with our rooms. And she said "no no, is like French family... is a concept, is a concept." So it's good we got that cleared up. And then apparently she said to Beppe today that I am a problem in the house, that I give her awful looks and yet she's done nothing to warrant it. I find that beyond hilarious. The looks part is definitely true.
Karl and I went to see the downstairs neighbor last night, which went quite well. He suggested that we write a statement listing all the abnormal aspects of living here, and take some digital photos of everything in disrepair. He has been assembling a dossier on madame for his court case against her, so this will become part of that and should hopefully help all of us. He was very, very cordial, which made things easy. Apparently he works at Roissy airport and knows lots of cops and lawyers, so he seems fairly well-versed in the system. So that's looking hopeful!
Switching gears...
In the rest of life, things have been pretty good. Jeremy came, and then left early, which was too bad but the right decision for him. We went out a bit of course, which was fun. Finally went to The Crocodile, a super awesome bar in the Marais, which I will definitely return to. Last week there was a great BBQ at Mario's lovely house in the burbs, pictures soon to come. Saturday saw a FANTASTIC circus-y theatric gitane music show at a park in Nanterre which was part of an art fair weekend. And we finally got a spell of warm weather, to a fault in fact.
This week of class is really good, as the teacher is fantastic-- passionate about food, knowledgeable, easy to understand (which matters a lot these days!), funny, practical, on task. And the stuff we're making is for the most part excellent, like a truly killer bordelaise (albeit marrow-less), sauce amoricaine (or as I say, Lobster Madness), lamb shoulder sous vide Robuchon style, etc etc. Tomorrow we're roasting Bresse roosters, making bearnaise, and regenerating sauteed cod as well as scallops with langoustines. We learned a pretty sweet trick to make langoustines (or anything) super rosy-red: take raw lobster coral and whisk it up (this can be defrosted frozen coral that gets saved here and there over time) and brush it on the raw product before sauteeing-- it's so bright it's almost unbelievable, but looks nice.

S.O.S.

The atmosphere in the house is grim. As far as I'm concerned, we're living under siege. Between the heat and my early mornings I've been totally exhausted, and this afternoon as I was taking a much-needed nap I was rudely awakened by madame opening our bedroom door without knocking. I woke up and said "what are you DOING?" to which she replied she wanted fresh air from our open windows. I was about to find a blunt object suitable for inflicting moderate head trauma, and then like an afterthought she said, "oh, are you sleeping?" To which I responded in the affirmative in a tone I would normally reserve for a murderer of small children.
We're going to talk to the neighbors downstairs who apparently are in a court case against her to see if maybe we can help each other in some way. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, as they say. And we want to talk to the renters' advocate organization and the police, so we'll see where that goes.

This is too fucking ridiculous.

NIGHTMARE ON JASMIN STREET

Just as the weather in Paris was getting nicer, today a black cloud settled over our house. The reign of terror is once more upon us, and its name is Finet... aka Madame Froot Loops.

The toilet paper is already missing.

Beppe already saw bosoms within half an hour of being home.

Manic laughter is raging on the other side of our (tightly shut) door.

We have opened the double door between our room and that of Ro, creating a fort-like environment. We have moved in the toaster, and there is a good supply of bread and Nutella for the troops.

A lock is going on our door ASAP.

Jeremy arrives tomorrow to join the struggle, unaware of what is in store.

Dix semaines

We saw X Men today, which was fantastic. I saw Marie Antoinette yesterday which was lukewarm at best, yet about a hundred times better than Da Vinci Code which was almost insufferably terrible (although the albino dude really cracked me up). I realized yesterday that of the two films I had seen in Paris, both of them were American-made yet set in France/ Paris. I must say I really enjoy watching english movies and DVDs with the French subtitles. It's quite helpful.
Time is FLYING by! We just finished our 8th week of class, which is impossible to believe. I met up with some of the other girls in my class yesterday for the movie, after which Ryan joined us and we had an insane feast of delicious Korean food at one of the girls' apartments on the southeast peripherique. Her studio's kitchen was scarcely more than a shoebox, but somehow she managed to make a mind-boggling array of dishes-- by far the best asian food I've had since New York. As usual, pictures to come. And we visited a cool Korean grocery near Opera, whose area I noticed is quite peppered with Japanese and Korean markets.
Of course, there is yet another jour de ferie tomorrow, for some Jesus-related cause that I know and care nothing about. It's just as well. I've been feeling a bit run down lately, so I'm happy to have another long weekend. We also went out with Sophie and Julien the other night for dinner and tarot readings, which was interesting and seemingly accurate, though not something I will probably ever spend another 20 euros on.
The last of the road trip pictures are up on Flickr now. This final (and obviously nicest) batch of photos was taken by Beppe.

Sun! Sand! Grand Prix! Sleeping in the trunk!

Well, we definitely made the most out of our all-too-brief roadtrip. And now I'm back in the freezing and comparitively monochromatic Parisian landscape, with little to show for it but a vague tan line, a jar of wild blackberry jam and the invisible but nevertheless intense desire to abandon all my studies and flee breathlessly to the south, happily living out my days somewhere on the Cote d'Azur.
The only true shame of the trip was that I ate virtually no good food. In my book that is a sin.

In related news, many pictures are newly up on Flickr, including about 85 from the trip. More trip pictures very soon to follow, from the respective cameras of Karl and Beppe.

Le Road Trip

Four of us embark this afternoon southward, to the land of beaches and millions of like-minded French. We hope to get to Marseille, maybe a 7 hour drive, and we also might stopover in Lyon on the way down or back to catch part of this big music thing (I get the impression it leans more to the side of party than festival), but really we have no solid plan... we'll see where the road takes us.
Photo documentation soon to come.

Life is good.

I'm so happy to be here!!!!!!!!

Motley Crew

From left: Nicolas, Olivier, Mario, Vanessa, me, Young Sun, chef Clement, Su Youn, Arielle, Rose Marie and Kevin.

Dinner, lunch and snackage lately

A darned good pasta salad.
Why doesn't every pickle and olive jar on the planet have one of these things??
Breaded chicken, couscous and haricots verts.
Pigeon by the Food Regeneration class.
Family dinner, with burgers.

Top fives from the past week or so

Recently learned French words or phrases:
1. Qui ressemble s'assemble- lit. "those who resemble assemble" (as may be gathered from the clear similarity)
2. raplapla- very tired, or very thin
3. patte de mouche- lit. "fly leg," equivalent to "chicken scratch" (handwriting)
4. bien arrosé- lit. "well watered," meaning an event had lots of drinking/drunkeness there
5. coquin(ne)- defined on Wordreference as naughty, risqué, scallywag... but defined by my classmates more as a flirty person-- but in a more negetive sense. Not fully equal to sleazy. Partly defined by touchy-feelyness.
Favorite stuff tasted at school:
1. chouquettes, my class
2. lamb chop by the food regeneration class
3. curried breaded pig's foot (?) galette from the charcuterie class
4. sables aux noix, my class
5. gougères, my class
Most fun things:
1. Friday night
2. hamburger dinner here Monday night
3. relentless war of teasing (in good fun) with my buddy Mario in class
4. improving my ability to relentlessly tease in French
5. watching on French TV a recording of Queen playing Wembley Stadium sometime in the late 80's, and then being humbled by the fact the Italians here knew many of the songs better than me
Worst things:
1. very uncomfortable bed coupled with weird French pillows
2. ipod died
3. very little sun
4. news from afar of Bush's continued misadventures
5. right in a row: a 4 year old boy was abducted, then found raped and killed in the woods, and a 6 year old girl was also abducted and found dead. This was elsewhere in the country.

Out on the town

We went out at painted the town a bit on Friday, which was the first time we've done so in Paris. We're having a good time here with our new roommates-- making dinner together, hanging out, watching French-dubbed movies on TV, speaking a lot of French.
I'm improving my French a lot, but I know I need to study and actually try harder to really take it up another level. And living with people my age is enabling me to learn more, uh, colorful expressions than proper speech, of course. That, too, is a very important component of attaining fluency-- yet that is not to say that I am in any way nearing that level. I am starting to be able to interpret overheard interactions for which I don't fully know the context in advance, I'm understanding French TV and movies better (recently watched As Good as it Gets, Back to the Future III, part of Dr. Doolittle with Eddie Murphy, and various MTV trash), and there are times at school where I can almost be on autopilot in terms of interpreting the teacher and responding accordingly. I'm starting to notice there are times where I go beyond understanding the gist of what someone is saying, but actually hear each word. As some of you are aware, this is no small feat in French, the language of a jazillion articles, pronouns, etc. I found someone's very illuminating piece about French fluency here which talks about cultural perception, linguistics, expressions, etc. Picked up quite a few useful things from it, as well as some interesting (if at times tedious) history.
Continuing to work on my Italian, but I feel it's an uphill battle at best. When I listen to my roommates, it may as well be Martian for all I can tell. Watched Italian TV today for a while, but it was barely any better. It's too damned fast! It seems many Italians I talk to are happy to help yet at the same time mildly discouraging of learning the language, which they say is both difficult and not terribly useful to know in the world. Though true that may be, I'm not giving up just yet.

I smell like fish fumet-- and that's not really a good thing

Cuisine class is ok, even if not tremendously enlightening for me. We've made white and brown veal and chicken stocks, veal and chicken jus (think almost like a demi but with nothing at all but browned meat), fish fumet, a bunch of (frequently mayonnaise-y) vegetable salads, poached salmon which we'll deal with tomorrow somehow, etc etc. By the end of the week we will also have made quiche, various soups and consomme. The teacher is pretty much the highlight of the class, who is very jokey and lowkey, and winking at everyone all the time. And it's nice to work with some meat and vegetables for a change.

Below, my Nid de Poireaux (Nest of Leeks) topped with crab dressed with sauce aurore, plated up in a typically cheesy manner (of my own volition, actually). It was really good... we got to eat them for lunch.

Holy gaping salmon maw!

Long weekend

Seen 2 really nice markets this weekend, one across town, the other a 5 minute walk from home. Posted those photos along with many others on Flickr-- I have nearly 500 up now!
Ironically I have been working on Italian this weekend as opposed to French. Met both a French woman who is fluent in Italian and a guy from Rome (seperately) for language exchanges, which went well. It's incredible how much Italian I have forgotten, but at the same time I remember a respectable amount. It was extremely hard for me to not speak French when I was trying to speak Italian! I made a tremendous amount of mistakes by trying to bastardize French grammer and vocabulary into Italian form. I hope that says good things about my advancements in the French department, at least.
May is chock full of holidays here. We had May Day last week, this Monday we have Armistice Day, and then in a week or two it's Ascension, which apparently dictates 2 days off. It's nice I guess to not have to wake up early and all, but I'm somewhat restless as it is, so another whole day off slightly exacerbates the problem. And yet on the other hand the next two weeks are cuisine (ie cooking), which to my understanding means a lot of basic knife skills stuff. Call me crazy, but I'm none too keen on tournee-ing and brunoise-ing vegetables from 8 to 4:30. I suppose the school holidays could easily be spent laboring over my French and Italian studies...

Tour of our room

At night we can see the sparkle from the Eiffel Tower's lights reflected in the windows across the way.

Photos- bigger, better!! And Skype!

I swallowed the fee for a "pro" Flickr account, so I now have a TON more photos up, including all the New York ones I stole from Maggie, and some slightly better organization. Check out the zillion new pictures from classes-- and yes, I did get to devour that buffet by the cocktail party class :)
In other news, we finally bought a mic for the computer, so our Skype is up and running. For those that do not know about Skype, check it out here. It's great!! You can call us on there (free for us both!), AND we soon hope to also set up SkypeIn, which means you can call us at a Minneapolis (for example) number from your land/cell line. Our username is "Juliette Lelchuk Ryan Parsons." We also have voicemail on there.

Lower West Side

So, we're settled into our new place, a large, slightly rundown apartment in a quiet part of the 16th arrondissement. We live with 4 Italians (though 2 move out on Sunday), an American guy, and a British girl. And there is supposed to be a Taiwanese girl too, but apparently she paid and never showed up-- over two weeks ago. It's a nice environment here, with a very communal student-y feeling. Ryan is actually the oldest of the lot, winning him the title (well, according to me) of Grandpa Parsons.
We explored a little bit of the Chinatown area in the 13th on Tuesday, which was pretty cool but unfortunately pretty out of the way in relation to us. We bought a load of Asian pantry staples and made a huge Thai dinner for the house, which was good to us but a bit too brutal, spicy-wise, for a few people. That's an especially nice thing about this house-- on most nights everyone eats dinner together (our bedroom doubles as the dining room). We're finally getting some past-due social contact, and an equally needed extra helping of French practice seeing as how half of the people living here are studying French and 2 of the Italians don't speak much english.
This week at school has draaaagged on, despite the fact that it was extra short. I made a pretty cool big ol' decorated bread today:

Maggie's pics

As you can see below, I've linked in a bunch of Maggie's pictures form New York, all of which (and of course many other photos) can be seen here.

Maggie's NYC pics- dinner at Omen

Maggie's NYC pics- Sharing the love

Maggie's NYC pics- Am I dismayed?? And what the hell is Ryan thinking, anyway?

Maggie's NYC pics- am I being funny?

Maggie's NYC pics- smoke in the face

Maggie's NYC pics- brunch at Prune

Once again-- best brunch EVER. Seriously, EVER!

Maggie's NYC pics- waiting for the train

Maggie's NYC pics- waiting for the train