Well, the merde hit the fan tonight, so to speak.
We finally found a lock that fits on our door, and so needless to say we put it on immediately once madame left the house. Later, it was Ryan who bore the initial brunt of her reaction, which was suitably unreasonable (see previous posts for backround). As soon as I heard from the other room that the can of worms was already open, I joined the scene and, both Ryan and my guns blazing, proceeded to inflict not even one dent in the solidly outlandish worldview that exists in the mind of Madame Finet. We tried to retreat to the Italians' room and slam the door on her which, having no lock (!!!), proved to be utterly ineffective. This instead drew the "conversation" out maddeningly. The other guys did pipe in their support which was nice but, again, to no avail whatsoever.
What was said was of so little importance given the futility of it all, but I will try to briefly recap for education's sake.
1. She UTTERLY believes that we are meant to live here like a family, and that all the rooms are open to everyone, and that she's here to help us and to be our "French teacher" and our protector. To put locks on doors goes against this principle. (?!!?)
2. She wants everyone to be happy, and when it was very blatantly stated that we would be happier without her, she simply denies it and goes on again about #1 (above).
3. We said over and over and over that it's not Ok for her to sleep in the hallway and that it ceases to be her "home" if she rents out all the rooms and has none of her own. She says it would be terrible to deprive a "poor student in need" of a room when she's fine sleeping in the hallway, and besides, it doesn't bother anyone that she does that. Again, when explicitly stated that YES we do mind, she either returns to point #1, or ignores the statement, or returns to the argument that this HER home and we knew all along that it would be like this. Everyone disagreed with that, and she disagreed with us, AND what's more she then pretended that we all agreed!! We also said it's not ok that she sleeps naked in the hall (which she denies, yet we have seen ourselves), takes showers with the door open, puts water all over the floor (she calls this "cleaning"), eats everyone's food, doesn't do dishes.... on and on. She denies these things. We even told her we have VIDEO of her going in peoples rooms repeatedly, which she basically ignored completely.
In summary, she steamrolls over anything you try to say and tries to dismiss it and pretend like there's no problem, there's at most just a slight misunderstanding. And we kept saying NO, we do NOT agree, there IS a problem, YOU are the problem, YOU are wrong etc. And she kept trying to say she wants the house to be like this or like that, and we flat out said WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WANT, WE PAY TO LIVE HERE, which she obviously is incapable of comprehending. And she above all kept stressing that she's super cool, she lets us do whatever we want, we're free here, she wants us all to be happy, she protects us, we're lucky to live here.... and Beppe finally said "you know, you act like it's a gift to us that we live here, but it's not, we PAY rent, we PAY you" and then she returned to..... you guessed it, point #1!
So, I would say Beppe finally hit the nail on the head when he said it's just like talking to a chair. A crazy, crazy chair.